Dear Person in Seat 22F

Dear Person in Seat 22F*,

I hope you enjoyed the red-eye flight from Honolulu to Seattle.

You were pretty lucky that you sat next to a small person like myself, a person who hardly takes up room and who doesn't even use arm rests.  But you were greedy, Person in Seat 22F.  You kept putting your elbow into my space and kept waking me up with your constant nudging.  Did you do this on purpose?  I did not appreciate it.

Also, I don't know if you realize this, but when you have your headphones on and you are singing, everyone  can hear you.  You may think you sound just like Kelly Clarkson, but really you sound like a goat.

And when you can smell your own fart, everyone around you can smell it too. Just because you like your "brand" doesn't mean that everyone else likes the smell of your emissions.  In fact, I threw up in my mouth several times over the course of the 5 hour flight.

Sincerely,

The Middle Seater, Seat 22D

*Just in case you were wondering, Jeff was in Seat 22C and was not the culprit.  He had his own issues with the mini-bottle FAIL, more to follow later.