Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Things that we thought were “normal”

When you were little, did you assume that everything your family did and how they acted was the norm?  Then you start hanging out with friends and you see how different families act.  At first you think, “That family is so weird, why aren’t they doing things the same way as my family?”  You continue to get exposed to more and more of the world and you still think everyone else is weird…. Then one day it hits you, maybe YOU are the weird one?!?

Well, this happens to me all the time. 

Not everyone gets “asparagus pee.” 

And not everyone talks about asparagus pee or knows what I am talking about.  I remember how my family would eat asparagus and then we would talk about how our pee would smell.  I would go around talking about my asparagus pee and think it was so hilarious.  Then I come to find out that not everyone smells their asparagus pee.  Jeff informs me that he didn’t know what the hell I was talking about and that his pee never smells after eating asparagus.  Damn.  But really his pee does smell, he just doesn’t have the ability to sniff it out.  Side note, I gave my dog asparagus and when I let him out, I could totally smell asparagus pee.  Hilarious.

Cars run even when you aren’t wearing a seatbelt.

So growing up my parents would say, “The car won’t run until you buckle up!”  We would all happily buckle up to get the car to start, because OBVIOUSLY there is a mechanism that prevents the car from starting if you don’t have your seatbelt in place.  I come to find out that was a lie.  Cars start even if you don’t wear your seatbelt.  And not all parents tell their children this.  When I have kids, I will tell them the same thing because it is funny.

Dessert is not always served at the end of every meal. 

My family sat down for dinner at 5:00 PM EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.  We watched the nightly news and discussed our day.  We also inhaled our dinner as fast as we could so that we could get to the main event.  Dessert.  A meal was not complete until dessert was served.  I come to find out that not every family does this.  In fact, Jeff tells me that my obsession with concluding every meal with dessert is bizarre.  You are silly Jeff, dessert must ALWAYS be served.  In fact, it should be implemented to conclude breakfast too.

People give nicknames or use shorted versions of names. 

My father has always called me Barbara. And really nobody in my family had nicknames or even used shorted versions of their names.  Even when cheering at soccer games or most recently a marathon, he yells “Go BARBARA!”  I became a little fastidious brat concerning this and for a long time I would get furious if anyone called me anything but Barbara.  They would call me Barb and I would correct them, “It’s BarbARA.”  And don’t even try to call me Barbie, I will drop you.  I finally succumbed to being called Barb because it was hard for teammates to say “Barbara, pass me the ball!” during soccer games.  Plus Barbara is harder to spell and the a’s and r’s get repetitive.

Not everyone eats squirrel with their neighbors. 

Enough said there.  Don’t judge, I thought this was acceptable.  Although really strange and very gross, I still think it is funny.  In case you were wondering, squirrel tastes like chicken. 


What things did you think were NORMAL but later you realized that they were not?  I can’t be the only one that is always discovering things that I assumed everyone knew or did but really are isolated.  I could go on and on about this, but these are the just things that popped in my head this morning.


JRL said...

Haha. So true. What is normal???

Jean said...

We just made your life more interesting and you are a more creative person because of your creative up-bringing.

Now one thing I keep forgetting to mention when it comes to soil; you have gotten weird! As a toddler you used to sit and eat dirt, sand and we even found you in a fire circle eating the charcoal on our first camping trip. You never got sick, although you had a sore bottom after each trip to a sand box. I did try to keep the "ba" in your mouth so that you wouldn't eat so much but I couldn't watch you all the time. You seem to have forgotten the "Ernst" saying: "A little bit of dirt never hurt anyone." That's all for now.

CentsibleRunner said...

Dammit Mom, it is SOIL, not dirt, get it right. Oh and sometimes strangers read this blog. Please don't discuss my soil eating (and shitting) anymore. I will have to take away your commenting privileges if this continues.

Post a Comment