Does anyone speak Dog?

Jay is 12 years old and have never been much of a barker or a talker.  In fact, I had him for close to a year and didn’t know what his bark sounded like.  But recently things have changed.

The little old man of a dog has been feeling really good, prancing around following us from room to room.  He also has started talking to us.  At first it was funny and cute like most things start out.  “Ahh look, Jay is is talking to us!”  He will give different tones, loudness and intensity to his bark based on the situation.  And most of his barking is directed at Jeff, specifically the demanding loud and obnoxious barks.

For instance Jeff and I will be making dinner in the kitchen and we hear Jay in the living room.  He typically perches on the coach and lets his presence be known.  For typical dogs, barking means one of 4 things:

1. I have to pee
2. I have to poop
3. I’m hungry
4. I’m thirsty

In the past he is typically self sufficient and will help himself to food and water (no barking) and if the water bowl is empty he will help himself to toilet bowl water (that is why we have to keep our toilet closed at all times) or cups of our water…….and if he has to go outside, he will just stand for hours staring at himself in the sliding glass door (though I bet he thinks the reflection is really a dog waiting for him outside).

This barking ensues and we check the food and water (full) and let him outside (doesn’t have to go); the howling and barking still continues.  Sometimes even louder, more demanding, and increasingly annoying!  What the hell does he want?!? 

I don’t speak Dog and can’t understand what he is saying.  And I think this frustrates him too.  I don’t know what to do.  They really need to make real life translators like they have in UP:

My suspicion is that he just wants attention because he will stop backing if we lay on the couch with him.  But it is just so weird that this is happening for the first time since I have had him (8 years and counting).  And its super annoying when we are trying to get things done.  Ugh.  Silly silly dog.